Sobertember: Why I'm quitting booze for a month

As the bus rounds the corner, I fold the last slice of doner kebab with my plastic fork, gather the remaining few chips laden with mayonnaise and pop them into my untasting mouth.

I have inhaled the greasy takeaway in the mere handful of minutes it takes to walk from Prince of Wales Road to Tombland followed by the brief stint waiting for the number 37.

It’s bank holiday Monday and I am heading home after meeting a dear friend for a catchup.

But as can often happen for me, this catchup turned into a heavy drinking session.

Six pints and half a pack of cigarettes later and here I am, under the canopy of trees in the shadow of Norwich Cathedral – vaguely aware I have consumed more calories than a man’s recommended daily allowance in this afternoon’s catchup.

Don’t get me wrong – I had an absolute blast with my buddy.

We talked, opened up about things, laughed and enjoyed some great beers along the way.

I’m not attacking the prospect of catching up over some bevvies.

But as I lolloped onto that bus, slurred the destination to a confused driver then swung myself into a seat, there was a growing awareness bubbling up inside me that felt ready to burst.

I realised I wanted to change my own habits, shift how I approach social interactions and redefine my relationship with alcohol.

Not because I didn’t enjoy myself with my friend or because I am anti-booze or anti-social (which I’m not).

Instead, it was a more personal epiphany that I fancied a change.

Last year in September 2021, I ran 2 miles every single day - with one walked due to injury - raising a few hundred quid for Cancer Research UK in the process.

I was still drinking then but the purpose and consistency let me shed a bit of weight and snowballed into other healthier choices overall.

As this summer ended and September 2022 arrived, the legacy of that month has lingered like something from a Charles Dickens novel – the ghost of habits past.

A year ago I made a habit tracker calendar where I could proudly record my runs and progress each day.

I half-ironically called it Strongtember.

This year I will do a twist on the theme of a purposeful September, but this time I’m calling it Sobertember.

It’s going to be like Dry January but with some longer days and a bit more warmth.

No booze. No smokes.

An experiment in vice detox where I redefine my relationship with unhealthy habits.

For clarity, I'm not a smoker - but sometimes I am a social smoker if I'm out having a drink with mates. But regardless, it's getting the boot this September too.

I know some people look upon Dry January or Stoptober with cynicism.

Why have a healthy blip only to return to bad habits with reckless abandon soon as the end of the month ticks over, right?

Of course it is better if you can say your diet and health regime exists at a manageable balanced place where you enjoy naughtier foods or a glass of wine in moderation rather than pursuing these all-or-nothing periods of denial.

But there is also something to be said in the defence of a shock to the system – if you keep a few tools at your disposal, which is precisely what I intend to do with Sobertember.

These are some of the mechanisms I will deploy to help me remain focused and intentional with my choices in the coming month:

Motivation

We all need a why when we start something new or rekindle something old.

A clear and vivid statement about the motivation behind change is a powerful tool to help us.

Here’s mine:

I live for longevity so I can play enthusiastically with not only my future kids but their children too, looking after my body and mind because they are the only ones I get and I am responsible for the choices that affect them.

Tracking

The large visual record of accumulated wins on a calendar has worked for me before when tracking habits so I’ll use it again.

Plus, I recognise that getting out a ruler and some felt tip pens in a playful nod to colouring as a child puts a smile on my face, so why not embrace it?

Accountability

Writing this and the thought of putting it out there is terrifying because there’s a shame in sharing something where you could fail.

But beyond just stating it here on my website, I will also tell friends and family to let them know and seek their support.

Environment

If you lay out your gym gear the night before you remove an obstacle to getting out the door the next morning.

Following this principle I will gather all the booze in my house, put it in a cardboard box and hand it over to my partner who will rehome these orphaned bottles in her shed.

Changing the environment is one of the best ways I have made better habits stick in the past so it makes sense to deploy this tactic again.

Rewards

Removal is hard, replacement is better.

Old habits become ingrained because we go through the Habit Loop, as described by Charles Duhigg in The Power of Habit, where a trigger leads to action then a reward – and round and round we go.

For example you might get to 2pm in a work day, feel drained, reach for a chocolate bar and enjoy the sugar rush and brief uplift in energy levels. Rinse, repeat.

If we axe something from our lives it leaves a void and those triggers plus the temptation of old rewards remain.

But if we can find a way to recognise our triggers and nudge our actions in different directions then change the associated rewards, voila, new habits emerge.

So as part of this, again using my trusty A3 sketch pad, I will write an ‘If this then that’ poster with two columns – one with my triggers, the second with new actions and some healthier new rewards to choose from.

Exercise

I think of it as the Great Uplifter.

Going to the gym and running are my favourite forms of exercise and if I make time for them consistently, it has knock-on benefits for other choices in my life.

Better diet, drinking more water, sleeping better – everything gets a little boost.

On that note – I think I might go for a run.

And who knows – eventually Sobertember might morph into Stoptober.